Three Friends
by Woof Woof Woof
Summary: sirius black is let out of a askaban, he is a broken man. remus is a lonely werewolf and harry is an abandened mistreated child, can they mend each other and become a family. this is a rubbish summary but my 1st fic so give it a try anyway.
1. I Smell a Rat

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I Smell a Rat

The room was occupied with five ginger mops. The two eldest boys sat either ends of the settee, lazily, playing a game of exploding snap. The middle eldest child was perched like an owl on a wooden chair, his head nearly touching the book in which he was reading. The youngest of the boys lay across the floor with the youngest child and the only girl of the family poking a small fat rat.

"Ronald, would you leave scabbers alone" the boy reading said finally lifting his eyes from his novel.

"but he doesn't do aannnnnnnnything" said the young boy giving the rat a great poke, the boys clothes was old after belonging to one of the boys playing exploding snap and his face was rather grubby but at 5years old he really didn't care. The house wasn't scruffy, after all there mother spent all day cleaning, it was just untidy and with seven children who could keep a house clean.

"Maybe he doesn't appreciate being prodded every two minutes," the middle child snapped back.

"Relax Percy, Ron's only messin" called the eldest boy, the middle child, Percy sighed heavily,

"That is not the point," Percy then put down his book and went to grab the rat, the young boy Ron began to cry loudly,

"Percy just let him have it to shut him up, mom will do her nut if he disturbs dad and that bloke from the ministry," the eldest boy said rising from his seat, the other player of exploding snap sat up in his seat, his wand rolling lazily off his rat.

"He is my rat," Percy argued, "and Ronald is hurting him,"

"I want him, I want him," whined the young girl.

"Shhh Ginny," said the eldest boy, "just let them play Percy,"

"No it is my ra" Percy began to argue back but was interrupted by his sister. The young child waved her brothers wand in the air pointing at Percy, sparks shot randomly of the uncontrolled wand.

"Ginny, put down the wand," screamed the three elder brothers but it was too late, a quick yellow spark shot through the air, hitting directly the rat, who went flying through the air and onto the ground. All the children held there breath, but then the rat moved slightly and they all exhaled, but then the rat began to grow, bigger and bigger. Until it was a man, the rat was a man.

The boys screamed, the girl shrieked dropping the wand immediately, but as soon as scabbers appeared a man he was back as a rat.

"WHAT in the world is going on!!" shouted a small plump woman who appeared at the door, the five children ran to the safety of the woman, the youngest boy and girl in tears but all as white as the clouds outside.

"mum, scabbers he he tur turned into a m man," stuttered the eldest boy, for a moment the room lay silent, only the sound of the two mans voices in the other room could be heard,

"Don't be daft bill, scabbers, he is a rat," the woman laughed nervously, after all her children was always making up stories but the look on there faces was slightly unnerving.

"We know mom but he turned into a man," said the second eldest child, the woman looked at her children and knew immediately this was no joke, after all Percy too looked petrified and he never cracked a smile.

"WH...What happened? Before he well... changed" the woman asked, she wasn't to sure she wanted to know,

"Ginny had Charlie's wand and was shaking it and a yellow spark came shooting out and hit scabbers and he well changed," the eldest child, bill, said quickly hardly taking a breath.

"Why did Ginny ha..." the mother began to ask but trailed off, aware this was not important. After all her child's rat was a man, an animagus maybe. The young girl, Ginny screamed loudly as the rat moved along the floor.

"Shhhh gin," Charlie pulled his sister into his arms.

"What's going on?" a voice asked from behind the door, walking past his children and into view, came Mr. Weasley

"We heard screaming," stated another voice, this wizard was tall, his head was bald and voice commanding.

"The children they said, well they think that they saw scabbers turn into a man," said Mrs. Weasley softly, everyone's eyes turned to the rat.

"Mom, he did turn into a rat," Percy spoke breaking the silence,

"I think he is an animagus," Charlie added his eyes not leaving the rat. Mr Weasley and the man from the ministry could both tell this was serious,

"Percy take Ginny and Ron into the other room," Mr. Weasley ordered, "bill, Charlie you can stay but wands out"

"But he..." Percy began but saw the stern look in his mother's eye and brushed his younger siblings out of the room. The four wizards then pulled out there wands, bill and Charlie stood at the back, Mr. Weasley was at the front with Mrs. Weasley and the man from the ministry whose name was Travis at either side.

Mr Weasley muttered a spell and pointed his wand at the rat. Immediately the small rat began to grow larger and larger, standing on four legs, losing the tail until there stood a man. His hair was a dirty grey identical to scabbers coat, his back was hunched and his stomach was rather fat. It was funny the fact that the man seemed to resemble a rat so much. But this was not a laughing matter, Mrs. Weasley began to shake, her house had been invaded, by an intruder, by

"Its peter Pettigrew" she murmured.


	2. A Trial?

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Hope you like first chapter, decided to put the first three up at once so you can get into it A Trial?

His head lay on the hard stone. His breaths deep and long. His soul empty. A chill ran through the air as a dementor glided past, the chill went unnoticed to the man, after five years he guessed he was use to the constant chill. Yet nobody would ever be use to the dementors, unpicking your minding, ridding of happiness, of joy, of hope. No man could get use to that. It had got light several hours ago but the man had not moved, he hadn't moved it five years because there was no where to move. Azkaban was hell. It was what all criminal deserved.

"I promise, I promise, I promise" the man muttered, "Do you doubt me jams, I promise,"

It was the same dream, the same story, the same memory. The mans worst memory and the memory in which the dementors loved the most, after all this memory destroyed the man, made him weak, made him there's. It was his weakness and strength. It made him weaker because the dementor would feed on him off it but at the same time it gave him the will not to give up, he had made a promise. The image was replayed in his head over and over again, he wished it would stopped, it wished it would end but he made a promise, a promise to his best friend and he had to fulfil it. His body was tense trying to defend himself from the dementors; he lay in a ball on the stone bed, his sunken eyes staring onto the wall. The same wall he had stared a for years.

"BLACK" a voice bellowed from outside the cell, the man inside flinched, disturbed from his nightmare, he looked up. McClellan. The prison officer. He was as tall as wide, his muscles was as strong as any defensive spell, he was in charge and he knew it.

"Hmm" the man, black replied, his best friends face was still too clear in his head.

"UP" he barked, the man, Sirius black obediently stood up upon his feat, it had been days since he had actually got up and his legs ached like hell. McClellan muttered a spell and magical roped and chains tied Sirius's arms and legs together.

"What's happening," Sirius asked his voice hoarse and low. McClellan was opening his cell doors, the doors in which the ministry had famously told the prophet would never be opened again.

"Your wasting a cell, there gonna go give ya the kiss," McClellan laughed, his eyes full and open devilishly. Sirius dropped to his knees. He couldn't. He had waited this long, he had to fulfil his promise. His body shacked violently, now on all fours he looked up,

"The ki...kiss" he stammered.

"Hopefully," he smirked, another man appeared behind,

"Hopefully what? McClellan" he asked staring down at the dirty beast on the floor,

"He gets a bit of action with the dementors, he want tongues and everything," McClellan grinned, "the evil beast wants to die, don't you?"

Sirius stayed frozen to the floor. Did he want to die? Did he want it all to end? Yes he thought more than anything but he had made a promise and would never give up. He felt a hand on his shoulder, pull him to his feet.

"Nobody is getting kissed, they may be scum but nobody wants that" the man stated, he turned his eye to Sirius, "Black, your going to the ministry"

"Why" Sirius asked, yet nobody replied, Sirius turned his gave down the hall, presuming that the men didn't know why but was too proud to admit it. But he then felt a large chill freeze the air around, three dementors was strapped to him just a metre away each. He tried to control his thoughts and feeling, not even realising he was moving down the corridor, just trying to say conscious, in control.

He walked into a room, with a the dementors and the man, the man shoved a small piece of paper at Sirius,

"Hold," he grunted, and began counting down from ten, as he reached one the room began to spin around for Sirius before spitting him out onto a cold tiled floor. Weak he lay on the floor, unaware of his surroundings, the dementors still near by and the journey he had just taken had caused a massive drop in fitness. All his bones in his body ached. He felt a warm sensation travelling up his throat, before sitting up and puking on the space he was just lying. The realisation of the sick and blood made the greasy hair black look up.

Hundreds of eyes stared back, all raised higher than him; he looked around realising he was in a pit of some sort. He felt an arm pull him to his feat again before strapping him magically into a chair, the dementors swirling round him. He looked round at the faces, all who had there eyes fixed on him. His breaths were quick and shallow. What was happening?

"Full name," requested a voice, Sirius turned his head to see in front of him, the minster of magic, in a seat raised several metres away, it then hit Sirius, and this was a trial.

"Si...Sirius Orion Bl..Black" he stuttered, self conscious of the eyes watching him,

"Sirius Orion Black, of Grimmauld Place and Highland Oak" the minster asked,

"yes sir," he replied, wondering whether to state he had not lived at either places for many years, but the dementor had there hold on him and his brain, his thoughts was not processing fast enough,

"Sirius Orion Black would you please tell the court of your actions on the 31st October 1981," the minster demanded, for most telling your action of 5years ago may be hard, but for Sirius he could give a fully description of his movements of this the day, the day that haunted him nearly as much as the promise he had made.

"I visited Helena Roseland at her home in the early afternoon leaving around about four, I went home to highland oak before going to a muggle pub near my home around tea time" he began.

"Have you any witnesses for your movements," a small plump lady in pink asked.

"Err... for the muggle pub probably not, I drank alone and anyone who did see me will not remember five years on but Helena Roseland could confirm my presence till four," he said quickly and quietly his voice was still hoarse and not use to speaking.

"Mrs Roseland has been dead for many years, so there is no witness," said another voice. Sirius felt a stinging his eyes. Not again. Another one was gone. Helena was gone. His throat went dry and his head was banging. The dementors loved it though, he was in pain and they thrived from it.

"We shall continue then, Black, what about your movements after four," the minister asked sharply, his eyes glaring at Sirius, it seemed that the dementors was not the only ones in joy.

"I left the pub and went to erm...I went to see Pettigrew," his throat sore, his eyes stinging and his was angry about to burst, "I got there and no one was there, it was empty, I knew...I knew something was...wrong,"

"Wish to elaborate, Black" a harsh voice came from behind, it was familiar to Sirius but he didn't know who it actually was.

"erm...Pettigrew was gone and I knew why, I wished it wasn't true and hoped...hoped I was wrong," Sirius said without taking a breath, "I went round to j...the potters, hoping to warn them but I was to late, I saw the house, they was gone,"

The room went silent. The death of James and lily had been hard on everybody. Sirius legs began to shake, the dementors was in heaven.

"Then what, Black" came a voice breaking the silence, Sirius wished he knew who was asking the questions but the dementors circled him, blocking his vision.

"I saw hagrid, and he had harry, he had...survived, I had to protect him but hagrid wouldn't, he wouldn't let me," his voice broke again, "I had to protect harry though, I had to, so I...I knew I had to get Pettigrew,"

"Why's that Black?" a voice asked, "wanted to kill all your old chum,"

"Yes," Sirius replied blankly surprising most the court.

"What?" asked a voice, much softer than before, slightly confused.

"I trusted Pettigrew, and he killed them," he snarled, "I wanted him dead,"

"How did he kill them, you was there secret keeper," the soft voice said again but this time harsh and angered.

"I would never betray my friends therefore I was never there secret keeper," Sirius said coolly, he knew it was coming and was prepared for this.

"Are you trying to say you was not the potters secret keeper," joked a mans voice

"Yes" Sirius replied again,

"We have several witness who tell us you was the potter's secret keeper," the minister stated, "Everybody knew you was the secret keeper,"

"exactly, I was there best man, there sons godfather, I offered to change because it was too obvious," as Sirius spoke, the whole room was thinking about what he was saying, it was true, when the potters went into hiding everyone guessed it was Sirius black who would know where they was.

"I begged them not to chose me and they only agreed at the last minute, so nobody knew," Sirius confidence soared, he could get out of Azkaban, he could take care of harry. Only though if he proved his innocence's and that means the truth and the whole truth.

"James told me moments after the spell was performed you was the secret keeper," said an old voice, Sirius recognised this one immediately, Albus Dumbledore.

"we knew a traitor was close to... to them and I mistakably thought it was Remus, he was acting strange," what he was saying, Sirius hated, proof he didn't trust a friend, and that hurt but he had to carry on, "and when you came round albus, Remus was with you and I made j...them swear they didn't tell anyone who would be a threat, so they told you I was there secret keeper, planning to tell you the swap later but there was no later."

For a second time the court went to complete silence, Sirius bowed his head ashamed of his actions to such a trustworthy friend as Remus, he had betrayed him just like he had James and lily by leading them to there death.

"Do you have any other witnesses to present who know of the swap" a man in front of Sirius asked, he looked very formal and smart.

"No"

"Let's proceed," he replied.

"Black, can you tell us your movements on the 2nd November," the minister asked, his tone suggesting he didn't care and saw Sirius as a criminal anyway.

"I tracked down Pettigrew in a muggle town, it had taken me two days but when I got to him, I didn't know what to do, I hated him but he was one of my best friends, I was scared, I drew my wand," the whole court listened word by word to Sirius, "I wanted to kill him but as I said he was one of my best friends, I hesitated, lost my ground, he shouted some crap and then there was a huge blast, all nearby muggles fell to the floor and through the smoke I saw him turn into a rat, you see he is an animagus, I saw him disappear,"

"Do you have any witness for this event," asked the minister knowing obviously that he didn't, to him Sirius was filth.

"No" he replied blankly, "but Remus John Lupin can tell you that he is an illegal animagus, three of us learnt how to do it at school,"

"Remus John Lupin, the werewolf," the lady in pink asked,

"Remus John Lupin, a good man who has a erm problem," he argued, "Remus will come,"

"Mr. Lupin will not be needed," the minister said, "Your lucky Black, we have a witness for you,"

Sirius paused, about to argue that Remus should come, but who was his witness

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	3. An old Friend

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Third instalment, putting fourth on tomorrow, promise An old Friend

"Bring in the witness," a man near a door yelled, two large wooden doors opened and four dementors glided in, resulting in seven dementors being in the room. Sirius mind was mess, his emotions high, the dementors had a feast. The cold air hit of his chest, he could hardly breathe. His chest and whole body began to shake, cold sweat dripped down his face.

"I promise, I promise, I promise" Sirius muttered, his dead friends face staring back at him, "Do you doubt me jams, I promise,"

"Minister, are all these dementors needed, Black is obviously in distress," Sirius heard the voice of his old headmaster say. He wanted to turn to see his face but his memories were too vivid and his confidence was lost.

"the dementors are here for all our safety, Dumbledore, we have the ministry's most vicious filth down there," Sirius heard the unmistakable voice of the man in charge of the ministry, he hated every bone in the ministers body but him naming Sirius filth or vicious didn't bother Sirius at the moment. No because behind the dementors, was peter Pettigrew.

"Ahhh, Peter Pettigrew of Wornley Way, correct," asked the minister, again a sly grin spread across his face.

"Err yes yes," a squeaky voice replied, barely louder than a whisper,

"Mr Pettigrew, you am here to help us with our inquires with the court of Sirius Orion Black and under your own charges, am I correct," a lady next to fudge said, reading clearly off a piece of parchment.

"Err yes," replied the same squeaky voice.

"Well let's begin," the lady declared finally looking up at the man in questioning. Sirius though was frozen though. Peter. Peter Pettigrew was here, in court. Half the wizarding world thought peter was dead and Sirius had killed him in cold blood, and here he was. The dementors tried to search Sirius's mind for happy images but it was impossible any memories that included peter was tainted, Sirius was his own dementor, in way this was bad because wherever he went his tainted memories were there but when he was with dementors in this situation, where there was no good memories to find, he was in control.

Yet this control didn't last long, Sirius launched every bone in his body towards Pettigrew, his anger, his guilt, his betrayal all trying to hurt the man before him. The magic wards though holding him back, screaming in agony, he through himself at the wards, at peter several more times.

"Sirius," squeaked peter, "Sirius my good friennnnnd,"

"shame you was never a good friend peter, " Sirius said calming down slightly and taking a different approach in his attack, "we trusted you peter and what did you,"

"Sirius, he came af..after mee, me sirus," peter fidgeted his chair, his grey watery eyes linked with Sirius's though, "what would you have done, eh, Sirius, he would have killed me, and I was scared,"

"me, I would have DIED FOR MY FRIENDS, FOR REMI, JAMES, FOR YOU," Sirius roared, the court was silence watching the two men, no one daring to interrupt,

"you was scared too, that's why we swapped," peter added quietly, "so you can't blame me,"

"I was scared it was too obvious, I was scared I would let my best friend down," he sound in a matter-to-fact tone, "you was scared because you was selfish,"

"I was not...I am not selfish," peter argued, taking even Sirius by surprise,

"you let voldermort kill your friends instead of you," Sirius snarled, "you killed thirteen muggles instead of me killing you, fifteen lives peter, you let fifteen people lose there lives because of YOU,"

"I didn't mean..." he squeak,

"didn't mean, WHAT, to offer to keep your friend safe, then tell voldermort where they are," Sirius half mocked and half ranted, "kill thirteen muggles, to save your own neck, or let your other friend to serve 5years in Azkaban for your crimes while you hide away as a rat, you admit you did all that don't you peter,"

"I didn't mean..." peter started,

"DID YOU DO ALL THAT PETER," barked Sirius his animagus side showing

"yes but..." he started again,

"DID YOU KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTION," barked Sirius spit pouring our his recently dry mouth,

"yes but..."

"then what didn't YOU MEAN?" Sirius asked, there was silence, "exactly, Pettigrew."

"Sirius can you forgive me?" asked peter humbly,

"depends, little peter, the little plump boy who followed me round at school, he never did anything to me," his words shocking the whole court, "but you Pettigrew, you betrayed me, you killed my friends, so no I will never forgive you,"

"If we are all finished, may we continue for the court," said the voice of fudge roaring around the room, peter hadn't realised where he was, who was surrounding him. He had just thought there was him, Sirius and a couple of dementors but when he looked up, hundred of witches and wizard.

"bring some more dementors in," called fudges voice menacingly, after all he could see that black was not in pain, and he should be, three more dementors came into the room, circling Sirius 

immediately, his control had gone, they ripped any memories he had with joy and hope out, his first night in Gryffindor tower, James asking him to be best man, then harries godfather, harry's birth and replacing them with all the memories he tried to forget, all the memories he wanted to forget; holidays at grimauld place, beating off his parents, hearing the prophecy, finding peters house, seeing James body. Sight was lost, Voices became muffled. Tears poured down his cheeks, the pain became too much. He wanted it all to go. Then all became silent, all became black, as he slipped into unconsciousness.

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	4. Verdict

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Verdict

"BLACK, BLACK GET UP," Sirius heard a voice bellow, he opened his eyes, his head was rested against a wooden chair, dementors circling him, it took him a moment to think where he was. Then he remembered, he was at court, Pettigrew was here, he was about to get sentenced.

"Minister, Mr. Black is visibly weak, can we not remove some dementors," asked the voice of a wise headmaster, Sirius wished he could see his old headmaster.

"if black is too weak for trial we can postpone until a later date but we are not removing any dementors in the court," fudge said, in a matter of fact tone, showing he was in charge here and not Dumbledore, "if this is what Black is too weak then he will be sent to his cell awaiting trial,"

"NO" Sirius shouted he had got this far, "I will be alright,"

"Then stand, black," ordered the minister and Sirius wearily got to his feat.

"Mr Pettigrew, your first charges are illegal animagus and trespassing into a wizard house, how do you plea,"

"Guilty,"

"And the courts decision," he looked around as the whole courts hands lifted, "guilty, your second charges is faking your death and the murder of thirteen muggles, how do you plea,"

"Not guilty,"

"the court find you," again he looked around, this time only three quarters of the hall had there hands raised, "guilty and finally passing information to he-who-must-not-be-named leading in the death of many including James Potter and Lily Potter, plea,"

"Not guilty," Pettigrew squeaked and then mockingly said, "I would die for my friends,"

"the court finds you," he looked round again, though this time much harder, it seemed half the court had voted guilty while the other half not, by performing a quick spell he saw the verdict, "hmmm, 165 people in this court find you guilty, therefore you are prisoned to life in the prison of Azkaban, take him away,"

"Goodbye peter, and rot in hell Pettigrew," Sirius whispered the Pettigrew so he and only he could hear, not that he didn't want the court to hear, he just didn't have the energy to shout.

"Sirius Orion Black, your first charge the murder of Peter Pettigrew, your plea," asked the minister,

"Obviously not guilty," Sirius replied coolly,

"The court finds you not guilty," he murmured, "second charge, the murder of thirteen muggles, plea,"

"Not guilty, again,"

"The court finds you," a small minority had voted guilty but, "not guilty and thirdly, attempted kidnapping of a Harry James Potter on the night of 31st October,"

"He is my godson, so not guilty," Sirius was slightly shocked by this question,

"The court finds you not guilty," again he did not look around because all the court had voted not guilty, "and finally passing information to he-who-must-not-be-named leading in the death of many including James Potter and Lily Potter,"

"Not guilty,"

"The court finds you," fudge looked around and sighed, "not guilty, there in no more charges so you..."

"Wait, I am Guilty to not reporting my animagus form," Sirius interrupted, if he was going to be a free man, he wanted no secrets,

"ahhh, the court finds you," fudge had a smile on his face, he was dreading the report of imprisoning an innocent man for five years at least now he had a reason, but as he looked round the court a minority had voted guilty, "wait he just said he was guilty,"

"yes but you have three years to present your form after your first require it or after the leaving of school, Mr. black left school at 18 and came to Azkaban prison at 20, and has been banned from magic since," said a calm voice of the headmaster, Sirius could hardly believe this, "I see a loop hole has been made that clear Mr. Blacks name on the condition he submits his animagus form before his 27th birthday"

Sirius couldn't believe it, yes he was animagus but he wasn't yet an illegal animagus, it as amazing, he was 100 innocent, he was ecstatic. Yet his body couldn't take the chill of the dementors and happiness Sirius had and he soon found himself being sick on the ground right next to him, blood included in the mess, though the court didn't seem to notice or they just didn't care.

"Black, you are free to go, the ministry will do an inquiry into your arrest and imprisonment and you shall receive compensation accordingly, court dismissed," it seemed to pain fudge to say his previous speech, pained his to free a mad man like black. He flicked his wand removing all spell bounding black back.

Sirius stood there as the court began to leave. He was free, he could leave. He walked several steps to the nearest door, stopping to see if anyone was going to stop him before quickly walking out the door. He found himself an abandon corridor, with several plants and seats. He went and sat in a nearby seat, slightly confused on what to do next. He had no where to go? No one to go to? nothing to do?

Would life in Azkaban be better for him, he began to think it would be

Sirius soon found himself on all four knees, violently throwing up blood and sick. His body seemed to panic, it wasn't use to this atmosphere, everything was too different, and there was too much space, too much freedom, too much happiness. His whole body shook as he empted the contents of his stomach, his throat burning each time. The outside world seemed a blank. All that seemed real was the pain he was in, in this stupid empty corridor. Yet the corridor was not completely empty, you see stood just round the corner was a Remus john lupin.

Remus had sat watching the trial, watched his two old friends who once would never cross words scream at each other across the room, he watched as all the hate he had for one of his old friends disappeared and was replaced with guilt. He had let Sirius down, he was innocent, and Remus should have known this after all Sirius would never have betrayed anyone to voldermort, especially his friends, especially James. Sirius had even sent him a letter whilst in Azkaban explaining his innocence in a code only Remus would understand, and what had Remus done, read it and discarded hoping he would die in hell. If only he had thought about it. If only he had read the letter. He would have seen Sirius had to be innocent, after all Sirius was Sirius.

He stood round the corner of the corridor, unsure of what to do. Yes, he had gone looking for his old friend but he had expected there reunion to be a happy one, in which Sirius would laugh and joke with him just like old times. But the Sirius Remus could hear round the corner was not in a laughing or joking mood. It was stupid of him to think that Sirius would be the same man that went into Azkaban.


	5. Half the Man

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Half the man

After several minutes, he couldn't stand it no more, his friend was in pain, and he had to help. He could hear over and over again some one gagging on the other side of the wall, he knew immediately it was Sirius but was rooted to the spot hoping that Sirius would come round the corner with his trademark grin and say he was only fooling around. It soon became apparent he would not. So Remus decided to face the problem head on and walked round the corner. He couldn't really see Sirius at first, he was crouched down on all fours, his head not visible at all, and all that could be seen is a mess on robes.

He drew closer, knowing that Sirius was unaware of his presence. He stood over Sirius for a brief moment, still not being noticed. He looked down at his friend. His heart bleeds. The robes was worn, dirty and covered in holes, he couldn't see Sirius's face but his hair was long (never a good sign with Sirius) matted and defiantly could have given Severus snape a run for his money when it came to greasiness. The smell also hit Sirius, urine, sick, sweat, and a mixture of several other things hit him at once. He felt his eyes tingling,

"Stop it, Remus, you have to be strong," Remus told himself.

Sirius was unaware of the presence of his old friend, he was unfamiliar with any company apart from the chill of the dementors, he leaned forward and coughed up a large amount of blood, he felt something warm on his shoulder gently pulling him back,

"Sirius," the voice was familiar, soft and comforting, no one had called him Sirius for years, especially not in that voice, he was so use to people barking "black" at him that this voice was weird. The hand on his shoulder moved up onto his face, and gently turned his face to the side, so he was facing the body of the arm, he looked up towards the face, and there looking down at him was his friend, Remus. He could feel his eyes tingling but knew he had nothing left to come out, all tears, all emotions had been forced out in front of the dementors, there was now nothing left. Sirius watched dumbfound as his friend knelt beside him, before pulling Sirius towards him, Sirius wrapped his right arm around his friend, feeling more at ease than he had done in years.

Remus though, he felt more unease than ever, as his eyes lay upon Sirius's face, he wanted to cry and to run away but stopped himself from doing so. The handsome face of a cheeky teen was long gone and replaced by a sagged, wrinkled, scarred image, his nose misshaped, lips cracked, eyes sunken and skin covered in small cuts. He was unrecognisable. His beloved friend was gone and Remus knew it would take a hell lot of fighting to get his back. Remus wanted to hold Sirius, tell him that he would fight for him. He placed his arm round his friend and pulled his closer, giving him a hug or a "bloke hug" as the maunders called them, after all they gave this "hug" to each other frequently, pulling each other together with one arm so there torsos touched before pulling away, "we don't hug each other," James and his pride would argue, "we show our man pride in a bloke hug."

And this is what Remus was doing giving a bloke hug but it was different than before. Whenever you gave peter a bloke hug, you would feel something soft pressing against your stomach from his puppy fat he never seemed to lose. James you would feel a slightly toned chest, perfect not to soft nor hard, his muscles not fully matured but still no fat in sight. Remus was the skinny one; he had no fat so was not soft but little muscle so he wasn't hard from muscle. And Sirius, he gave proper bloke hugs, his muscles would press against your ribs, as hard as a wall at first but became cushiony as he relaxed, Sirius had defiantly got muscles and the girls loved it. But this hug was not any of these hugs; it wasn't soft, hard or comfortable. Sirius had no muscle and no fat. Where his abs use to push into Remus was replaced by his ribs, uncomfortable shoving into Remus. He had not biceps wrapped round Remus's back just more bones. Sirius had always loved his freshly toned body but right now Remus realised there was nothing left of it. He wanted to hold onto Sirius and never let go, he wanted to feel Sirius's abs, the six pack he use to be so jealous of, but nothing. He let go gently,

"Remus," Sirius murmured, he throat burning like mad, was stopping him from telling his friend how much he loved him, stopped him from telling Remus not to let go of him, not to leave him. He had never been so grateful to Remus, after all he was no longer alone, he had a friend, he had a life, and he could live without Azkaban. He was no longer alone, Remus was there for him, and the bloke hug he received told him that. Though his body wouldn't let go without a fight, he felt the urge to throw up and pushed Remus aside quickly before throwing up again. His head angered with guilt, _he had pushed him away, would Remus think I didn't want him. _He couldn't lose Remus, he had already lost James. James

"I promised him, I promised him Remus, and I broke it," Sirius mumbled, facing Remus, his eyes meeting Remus's,

"It's okay," Remus reassured his friend, not to sure what Sirius was on about, but didn't see it as important, after Sirius was confused hurt.

"Ahhhhh Remus, Sirius, good evening," came a voice, Remus and Sirius both looked above to see there headmaster, albus Dumbledore standing above them,

"Dumbledore, yes, sir I was..." Remus began but was interrupted by a small grunt from Sirius,

"Thanks, for in there," was all Sirius could say but his words sounded humble and from a weak man, Dumbledore sighed,

"you have served much injustice, I did not see it fit for you to endure some more," Dumbledore replied softly, aware his justification had fell on deaf ears as Sirius sat staring at the floor, several moments passed.

"professor, I think it is best for Sirius to go to st Mungo's, he needs help," Remus said quietly, he didn't want to leave his friend but Sirius was in a bad way, but even as he suggested this, Sirius flinched away,

"no, please" Sirius pleaded, he couldn't leave Remus, not now. He couldn't see people who he didn't trust, they might still think he did betray lily and James and hex him or something,

"Sirius had several cuts I can heal on the spot, I can get poppy to owl some malnutrition antidote over once back at Hogwarts and that is all st mungos could do for Sirius," Dumbledore explained, 

Remus stared back at his old headmaster and Sirius seemed to be in a different world, staring into space, "Sirius is very hurt but no potion or spell will heal him, only time and love, and I think your the best person for that job,"

"yes, I will look after him," Remus said quickly, trying to show that he wasn't trying to suggest he didn't want to previously,

"then please take Sirius to your house, I think I will pop back to Hogwarts and arrive shortly with several potion for Sirius," Dumbledore informed Remus,

"I thought you said he only need a malnutrition potion," asked Remus looking at his friend, he looked so innocent and hurt,

"yes that is the only one he needs, but others may help like one that will help have a good nights rest," Dumbledore said, "I must go, good luck Remus, you will see me shortly,"

Dumbledore then walked down the corridor, leaving Remus unsure of what to do next, he stood up and gently pulled Sirius to his feet, it seemed Sirius was not actually there, even though his body moved it seemed it was unable to think for itself, Remus guided Sirius along the corridor to a small fire. Unsure whether sirus could floo on his own he guided himself and Sirius into the fire, with one arm, held Sirius and with the other holding a hand full of floo powder,

"Krampton Cottage," Remus shouted, before being pulled in every direction whilst trying to hold onto his friend, Sirius will be okay, Remus told himself, I will make sure of that.


	6. Time for Thinking

Time for Thinking

The Two men spiralled into krampton cottage, one landed on both feat but stumbled slightly while the other one was thrown to the floor landing roughly onto the grate of the fire,

"Sirius, are you ok?" Remus asked soon realising his friends landing, he helped Sirius onto the nearby sofa, Sirius though was ignoring Remus question only making a grunt as he sat in the chair, and even that he was trying to keep in. Remus sat down an armchair opposite Sirius. Shivering slightly, the silence was slightly unnerving; though krampton cottage was cheap therefore there were a lot of drafts.

He looked towards his friend; he was no longer the man he once was. The fire crackled and Albus Dumbledore appeared, Remus stood up to greet the headmaster but Sirius didn't show any acknowledgment of his old headmaster's presence,

"Evening Remus," Albus nodded towards Lupin who returned the gesture before turning towards Sirius, "evening Sirius,"

The pair waited a moment for a response off Sirius, Remus wanted to see if it was just him his friend was ignoring but it seemed to be everyone. Dumbledore began twirling his wand round his hand as Remus pushed his had through his hair, trying to catch Sirius attention, preying Sirius would respond.

"Shall we begin," Dumbledore said, Remus let out a small sigh of realise, hating the silence awkward atmosphere. Remus nodded and Dumbledore proceeded over to Sirius and began reciting several spells, Sirius winced several times but his eyes did not once left the wall in which he had been staring at since he had got there. Once he was finished Dumbledore turned to Remus,

"all cuts was made without magic so I could easily clear those up, the same with bruising," Dumbledore explaining, "he required a broken rib recently and I have fixed that to, when I say recently..."

"he landed awkward when we used the floo," Remus interrupted, before yawning it had been a long day and the full moon was only two days ago, he hadn't fully recovered.

"ahhh, yes he's bones are weak, this should help strengthen them," he handed over a clear bottle with some blue liquid, and then reached into his pocket and brought out two more potions a red one and yellow one, "the red potion will help give him all needed nutrients and concur his malnutrition, regular doses of both, while the yellow one is a one off sleep potion, to make him fully rested tomorrow,"

"I think he needs the sleep," Remus looked at his friend, a weight so large was added to his shoulders,

"Indeed, and I now must be off," Dumbledore smiled, "will you be okay Mr. Lupin?"

"Yes, thank you professor," he smiled and watched as his old professor exited, leaving him to be alone with Sirius and the silence. He walked over to Sirius and smiled at him weakly,

"Sirius you have got to drink these, I can...well I could give them to you or you could take them yourself," he said kindly, Sirius obediently opened his mouth, Remus pour the potions down his friends throat, it made him feel dirty as if he was hurting his friend, even though he was actually helping hi. He poured the blue, then red and finally yellow. By the time Remus had capped the potions Sirius was curled up and asleep. Exhausted he sank into the other sofa, and felt his eyelids close. It had been a long day.

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The moment the sun shone through the gap through the gap in the window, Sirius sat bolt up right. His mind ached, _where was he? It was much softer, warmer than usual. _He looked round and saw he was in a house, and it was unfamiliar. He then looked at the man sitting opposite it was Remus and it was Remus. It then hit him, he free, he had had a trial, he was found innocent, peter was guilty, and he was free.

"Sirius you up?" Remus grunted just waking up, Sirius had forgot about his friend's presence. _Should he reply, what happens if he got it wrong, what happens if he lets Remus down again, _Sirius thought, unaware that Remus was presuming he was going to ignore him again. After several moments of silently arguing with himself, Sirius grunted, indicating to Remus he was up.

"the water should be hot, if you want to have a shower," Remus asked coaxing his friend to talk, but again Sirius was arguing silently to himself,_ would he mind if I used his water, does he think I am unhygienic, heck I haven't had a wash in five years._ Remus sighed and looked away just as Sirius looked at his friend,

"Thanks" he murmured, and stood up. His legs was weak, therefore he slowly walked towards the door,

"bathroom is second on the left," Remus sighed his friend had only said a dozen of words to him since they met and it didn't seem he would be saying much more in a hurry, he got up slowly from his seat, which had been rather uncomfortable to sleep on and made his way to the kitchen, hell it looked liked Sirius had hardly eat for five years and needed feeding up.

Meanwhile Sirius made his way to the bathroom and once in there stripped the robes he had worn since the night of James and lily's death and threw them onto the floor. The robes had been brand new when he last put them on and now taking them off five years later they held no good memories. He stepped into the shower and at first the water didn't touch him, it pushed the dirt and grime off his skin until the water eventually hit his skin, he rinsed his hair roughly before stepping out of the shower. Looking down at his body, he sighed, his skin was sagged, you could see his bones, and his beloved abs and muscles had disappeared leaving him to be a bag of bones.

"There are some spare robes of mine, in the cupboard," he heard Remus voice shout from behind the door, Sirius walked over to the cupboard to find the robes.

"Thanks" he murmured back, not too sure if Remus heard him, god his throat was sore, he pulled the robes onto him and reached for the door, catching a glimpse of him in the mirror, he sighed would any one believe what Hogwarts heart throb looked like 10years later. He exited the room

Remus had just placed the plates on the table as Remus walked in, if the mood had been slighter Remus would have joked how a black ended up in a werewolf's robes but he knew it wasn't the time

"Breakfast is ready, I have done you bacon, egg and beans, wasn't sure if you still liked it..."Remus trailed off, stopping as Sirius sat down, "you have got to take your potions as well,"

"Thanks" Sirius said, gulping down two potions, thankfully they was tasteless and then waffling down his breakfast, Remus smiled, Azkaban hadn't improved Sirius's eating habits. Though this was one of the few times Remus smiled over the following days. He thought having Sirius around would lighten the place up. However, Remus was pretty sure Sirius wouldn't do anything at all if Remus didn't tell him to. Every conversation was the same,

"Your beds ready, first on the left," Remus would say

"Thanks," was Sirius's reply before leaving to go to bed.

"I have done some tea," Remus would say

"Thanks," Sirius would reply before going to the table.

"Do you want a drink?" Remus would ask,

"Yes, thanks," Sirius would reply adding another word to the conversation.

Remus hated these one or two word conversations on Sirius part, it seemed he was bullying Sirius to do something but all he was trying to do was help. Sirius though was just too grateful to his friend and didn't want to upset him in the slightest, this and the fact that he had too much freedom compared to current years and didn't know what to do lead to the one or two word answers. Remus though couldn't take any more of the silence after Sirius 6 day of freedom he came up with as many plans to get Sirius to talk, to act, to do anything.

"I have found out this book that you could read," Remus asked just after breakfast, he knew of Sirius hate for reading and book and knew that at least one word could now be added to Sirius vocabulary list which would soon including, yes , no and thanks.

"Thanks," Sirius murmured staring at the wall ahead just like he had been doing hours before dinner. Remus put the book down, surprised, he hadn't thought Sirius would take the book, he thought he would at least say no, if not a joke or comment. Why was getting a friend to talk this hard? Sirius had never shut up in there years at Hogwarts so why wouldn't he say anything now? Remus knew of course that Azkaban had effected Sirius mentally but did he hate Remus this much too just ignore him.

"Don't be stupid," Remus muttered, knowing that his last thought was not true.

"Pardon," Sirius asked, who had heard his friends mutter and could tell something was bothering him. Though Sirius outburst of a new word shocked Remus slightly,

"It doesn't matter," Remus replied.

"Its bothering you, tell me" Sirius said his voice showing emotion at long last, he was concerned. and even though the words 'tell me' hadn't been an order and came softly to Remus ears but Remus felt the need to be truthful to his friend.

"It is you," Remus said, before cussing himself on the way he had said that.

"Me?" Sirius asked slightly confused, what had he done, he had tried to be as polite and curtsies to Remus as Sirius could possible be, tried to stay out of his way and let him carry on with his life.

"I didn't mean it like that," Remus said, knowing how harsh that must of sound, "it is just you have hardly said more than two words,"

"I'm sorry," Sirius apologised, again confused, he was only trying not to be a burden to his friends who's life had carried on in the last five years while Sirius's had been on hold.

"You just sit there staring at the wall all day," Remus said, though not meaning to, too much time on his own had lead to his thinking aloud,

"I am just thinking," Sirius mumbled, he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to go in detail about what he was thinking about because most of it consisted of James and Harry, and James death was still an open wound to him.

"About what? I was thinking you would have had enough of staring at a wall all day in Azkaban," Remus ranted, he had enough. Why was Sirius being so secretive, didn't he trust Remus.

"Harry, I'm his godfather, I should have looked after him," Sirius said, paining striking through his body at the reminder of the promise he had broken.

"so your going to sit there, thinking about looking after him but not," Remus said harshly, thinking it was an excuse, a way of telling Remus what he was really thinking about. And it was partly.

"He doesn't even now me," Sirius spoke looking down at the floor, ashamed, his godson may not even know of his existence,

"What and he will suddenly remember you if you sit," Remus snarled, why wasn't he telling him the truth,

"What else can I do," Sirius snapped, Remus was really getting on his wick, did he think he didn't want to be part of his life, "I have seen the state I'm in, I aint even got a wand,"

"well, Get well, get strong and visit him, get to know him," Remus yelled, his anger burning up, why was he hiding something from him, he knew he was, he had grew up with his and James pulling pranks every two minutes and knew when Sirius was hiding something.

"FINE, I WILL," Sirius spat and got up from his seat and left the room for the first time during his stay without being told to do so. Remus though sunk in his chair, what had he said, what had he done.


	7. How Some Things Change

How Some things Change

Remus peered out the window for what must have been the two hundredth time today. Sirius lay topless on the grass, knees raised doing sit ups. Just like he had been doing the last twenty times Remus looked. It was half one. Sirius had don; 1hour of squat thrusts, a 1 hour run, an hour of hitting a sack like a punch bag, 1hour push up and was had now been doing sit ups for half an hour.

"_What the hell is he doing_ " Remus thought, after all this would be a strenuous session for a body builder let alone a man who had been confided to a 2metre by 2metre cell for five years, _"he might as well be killing himself, and why because I told him to"_

Remus scolded himself silently, yes if he hadn't have said anything Sirius would be a silent mush dying slowing in the corner but due to him saying something he was now killing himself by pushing his body to the limit.

"Sirius, you want some dinner," Remus called out the window, hoping they could talk why they eat and he could persuade him this exercise was not healthy.

"No" Sirius replied, before letting out a loud grunt as he pulled himself up into another sit up. Remus sighed, how long could this last?

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Again he sat by the window peering out. He hadn't stopped yet and it was nearing nine o clocks, 12 hours of constant exercise. Remus had to do something. But as he had been doing for the past hour or so, he would hover by the door and then return to his seat, what was he going to say? He would then prepare a mini speech and come up with all Sirius's replies and then form answers before standing up going to the door, realising it wouldn't work and going to sit down again.

"you have got to talk to him, for both your sakes," Remus whispered to himself, pulling out from his seat he walked to the door and finally put his hand on the handle and opened it, "half way there, I suppose,"

Remus walked up the yard, Sirius was situated near the shed at the back of the garden. The yard was nothing to look at. Weeds grew as frequent as grass. No flowers. Flies swarmed the air. No butterflies. The sun rays blurred down on to Remus's brow, it was a beautiful night, he dreaded though the summer if this was the heat at the start of July. His mind wandering, he almost forgot why he had come out side, but the situation soon dawned on the werewolf as he saw his friend, breaking his guts out in front of him.

"Sirius, it's getting late..." Remus began but was to be interrupted.

"One more hour" Sirius grunted, hitting the bag several times, his breaths were staggered and fast.

"Sirius you have been at it for twelve hours," Remus said sympathetically, trying not to sound like Sirius's parent, "isn't it time for a break,"

"No"

"your killing yourself," the werewolf argued though noting his friend had started to ignore him, "you're going to hurt yourself, your no use to harry if you're half dead,"

"I'm no use to harry weak, I have to be strong," Sirius grunted again, throwing more punches at the bag, faster punches, and harder punches.

"Harry won't care if you're strong or weak..." Remus argued, this had been one of the situations he had imagined earlier, therefore prepared for whatever Sirius said back

"I have to be strong," Sirius said stubbornly

"Why"

"because I have to protect him, have to protect harry," the words sank into Sirius spurring him on, he began hitting it more and more, if his pain would stop harry from ever feeling any then he had to work harder.

"You can, but your not going to get well overnight," Remus pleaded, his friends behaviour scared him, he knew Sirius too well, he knew something was being hidden.

"I've got to, I can't let him down," Sirius could feel tears welding up, blinking fast he had to get rid of them, he had to be strong,

"You won't let harry down, but if you..." again being interrupted,

"It's not just harry," Sirius muttered, forgetting his friends extra good hearing,

"this is about you and harry nobody else," he had a feeling Sirius thought he had let Remus down by not trusting him years ago, but why did he have to get strong to show Remus he trusted him? All he had to do was say.

"But I promised him, I promised them," his punches became slower, weaker, though Remus didn't notice because his mind was racing, who had Sirius promised. Sirius could feel tears building up his eyes. He would not let them fall.

"Who did you..." Remus asked but stopped before finishing his question, he looked at Sirius the punches he was throwing was weak, he saw Sirius's shoulder begin to shake before his animagus friend fell onto the sack, hugging it, burying his face into the cotton, crying, "Sirius,"

"I promised them and I broke it," he cried, his voice slightly muffled after all his face was pressed into the bag so hard, "it was the most important thing and I failed,"

"Sirius, its okay," Remus put his arm round his wet friend, his mind still racing.

"I promised them, I promised him," Sirius repeated, his chest tightening, "I didn't do it, it was so simple and I didn't do it, no I had to get myself banged up"

"That wasn't your fault," Remus said trying to shush his friend, "you didn't kill those people, you didn't betray lily and James,"

"They made me promise and I betrayed them, I should be in Azkaban," tears pouring from his eyes,

"No you shouldn't,"

"You don't understand, they made me promise, promise to be there for him and I wasn't, I betrayed them," Sirius lifted his head and looked into Remus's eyes, "I betrayed them,"

Remus finally understood. James and Lily, it was obvious, they had appointed Sirius godfather therefore he to protect harry if anything happened to James and lily and Sirius went to Azkaban and couldn't help feeling he had betrayed them, it all made sense to Remus, yet it wasn't that simple.

"You know you didn't betray them, you would never betray James," Remus stated

"I broke his promise though," Sirius muttered turning away from Remus,

"what exactly was this promise," Remus asked, expecting Sirius to recount it but then saw his friends actions more clever, placing a finger to his head he pulled out a white ribbon, whilst doing so Remus pointed his wand at the floor and a puddle emerged, Sirius held the ribbon, above the water,

"you sure about this," Remus questioned, already scared he had pushed his friend to far, tear stained, Sirius nodded, he let go of the ribbon and it floated down into the water and after composing themselves and taking a deep breath the maunders stepped into the puddle.

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Remus looked around, small cottages with thatched roofs stood on the left, a small church and graveyard on his right, and the countryside air filled his lungs as he looked at the view in front of him. It had been too long since he last visited godric hollow. Indeed they were in the square of the hollow, the shops, houses and church was all brought together with the square and the garden in which Remus stood. He looked forward towards the bench in the square and saw two men sitting lazily, one's hair sleek and elegant, the others handsomely messy. It was of course the young Sirius black and companion James potter. Remus alongside with elder Sirius walked up to eardrop on the two youngsters.

"Poor Mooney, he look knackered last night at the you-know-what-thing," said the young Sirius,

"Aint we all," replied the potter, "I am getting too old for this,"

"yeah I know, you are an old git," the elegant black replied wearing his trade mark grin, It was more than obvious he was Hogwarts "hottie" several years ago, and with age came more beauty with him.

"Hey, you're older than me," argued the messy haired boy

"Yeah but I am young at heart," he replied but the messy raven hair punched him in the rib, "owww"

"But not young any where else, come on that didn't hurt," he argued, pulling a puppy dog face, "I would never hurt you,"

"yeah but don't give me that look remember prongs, I am padfoot," he smirked, looking over his shoulder checking nobody was near, obviously not seeing his elder self and Remus, before turning to his animagus form, he jumped on his friend and began licking him intensively.

"Arrrrrh pad that's disgusting," cried James jumping up, pushing the dog off him who had by the time James turned round had turned back into a cheeky teen.

"You don't mind when lily..."

"She's my wife," he replied,

"and I'm your son, come on dad lets play," he said jokingly, "bout time anyway you two had a sprog, what's wrong Jamie, things not working properly,"

"WHAT?? Course they are," replied James defensively, "that's why I kind of asked to meet you, pads"

"What because down..."

"No because well, me and lily..."

"You're having a kid," Sirius asked surprised though unsure why after all his best friend and lily was the perfect match,

"Yeah," replied James too looking shocked, Sirius grabbed him and gave him a "man hug"

"Congrats mate, hey I am going to be an uncle," he said laughing,

"Who said your going to be my kids uncle," argued the raven haired,

"Well I better be,"

"Course you am, uncle Sirius, actually that sounds scary, uncle pads," smiled James, he was going to be a dad, "siri, if your going to be an uncle, you best watch out for my kid,"

"What? Watch out for him or her, whoever it is will think they am a twin with my joined at there hip," joked the black heir, the picture faded into a small living room. The room was decorated in orange and red, with yellow swirls. The raven haired man sat with his head between his knee's on one chair whilst a red haired heavily pregnant lady sat legs open on the sofa, the other occupant of was the handsome Sirius black who stood over the lady, who in fact was lily potter,

"I feel sick," said James potter, running his hands through his hair,

"STOP BEING a pussy James," yelled Sirius, "your wife's giving birth,"

"ARHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed lily,

"DONT push you mad woman, where the bleeding hell in Minnie?" yelled Sirius, lily grabbed Sirius shirt,

"DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO BLACK," she screamed, panting slightly, "ARRRRRRRH, don't come near me again potter!!!"

"You two owe me, I SAID DONT PUSH," bellowed Sirius freeing from lily grip, "god I see the head,"

"WHAT," James came rushing over but the sight of the blood caused him to pass out onto the floor,

"Thanks James," Sirius muttered kicking his friend out the way,

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG" screamed the woman,

"STOP I don't know how to deliver you kid," screamed Sirius, how the hell was we meant to deliver this child? Where was Minnie?

"well learn, arrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhh" screamed the red hair, Sirius placed his hands in his best friends wife's private area, something he would never do, as lily did one more push, he then pulled out a small red bundle. The child started crying, and at this James awoke,

"Err born at 11:39pm" said Sirius,

"Who do you think you are, healer black," laughed James nervously, Sirius then placed the newly born black haired child onto his mother's chest,

"Hey at least I didn't pass out and miss my sons birth," argued the black as he stared intently at the child,

"MY SON, it's a boy," screamed James, all six eyes lay on the small child who was still screaming its lungs out, "he looks like me!!!"

"He does and all, feel for the poor lad," replied Sirius content, "I am going make sure nothing ever hurts him,"

"Aint we all," smiled lily, her throat sore but her heart pounding as she held her child. The picture began to spur out. They was now in a kitchen, a small carrycot lay on the table, lily Evans sat next to it with a cup of tea, next to her was Sirius black and standing behind her was her beloved husband and father to her child James Potter.

"We have decided to call him Harry, harry James potter," smiled lily looking down at her son, "what do you think?"

"I love it," Sirius smiling to in awe, "thank god he wasn't a girl, petunia really,"

"That's my sisters name," defended lily,

"Yeah well, that says it all," said James, lily decided it would be an endless battle so decided to give up.

"siri, thanks for everything, last night" said lily, talking obviously about Sirius single handling help lily give birth, "you were amazing,"

"I know well when some people pass out," Sirius smiled and looked at James, "you just have to step in,"

"you're going to be a big part in harry's life and we want you to more than just step in," explained James, knowing that his best friend, heck his brother would play a huge part in his sons life,

"What you mean babysit," joked Sirius, taking a sip of tea,

"No we want you to be godfather to harry," James said, looking at lily and then back to Sirius, "so if anything happens to us, you look after harry, what do you think?"

"I accept," Sirius said surprised. Him. Godfather, "thanks that's brill but nothing will happen to you to,"

"But it's just in case anything does, you will be there for harry," lily explained trying to be serious, Sirius nodded,

"its really just a fancy name for babysitter," the adults laughed, Sirius stood up and leaned over and picked up you harry James, "hey I'm your godfather, you can call me Sirius, pad foot, or hey why not godfather but that's a bit long so why no god!!"

The room exploded with laughter and again changed slightly, the atmosphere was tenser, James potter was now sitting down in lily's seat at the end of the table, lily sat on his left with the one year old child, harry on her lap, the young Sirius stood on the other side of the table, in the last year the adults had aged rapidly, there youth and innocence was long gone. The elder Sirius and Remus stood near the back door, watching the scene unravel.

"The Harringsons dead," James muttered, "I can't believe it, and I use to play with Johnny when I was a kid,"

Lily stroked her husbands back, the young Sirius looked down at the floor, he knew the Harrison's death would be hard on James; the potter's had always got on well with the Harrison's.

"He is getting stronger," lily said her eyes placed on the wooden table, "he will find us,"

"But peter..." both the men said in unison,

"is our friend and will never let us down, I know that, but nothing can stop voldermort, he will find us," lily sighed, Sirius went to protest, "no siri, he will, he has the Harrison's, the prewetts, the drews and he didn't even want them as bad as he want us,"

"It's true, he will find us," James said, knowing it was the truth, "might be tomorrow, might be in five years but he will,"

"You never know, the order is getting death eaters by the day," Sirius said trying to give hope to his depressed friend,

"and he is getting order members, ministry workers, muggles by the hour, its no use, if something big don't happen and soon, he will find us," lily cried looking down at her son, what would it be like growing up in this world?

"Sirius you know we will go to the ends of the earth to protect harry," James said, his voice no longer carrying the cheekiness it had only a year ago.

"Of course you would, nothing will ever happen to him while we are around," Sirius said looking down at his godson, he would die for this child, he would have died for it the moment he saw him.

"true, but how long will we be around, voldermort is going to find us and when he does who will be there for harry," lily asked her voice with despair, "if voldermort wants him, he will have to kill me first but who will look after harry once I'm dead,"

"Or me," added James,

"I will always be there for harry, I am his godfather,"

"Sirius I want you to promise, that once me and lily have...have died, you will protect harry, care and love just like we will," James asked, he hated to think of leaving his son but he would protect him no matter what,

"I promise, I promise James, that if anything ever happens to you two, I will protect harry, make sure he is ok," Sirius looked into James eye, mentally reassuring his friend, that why he is alive he will stop even a single hair on his godsons head being hurt,

"Even if you have other commitments, a family of your own," lily asked, she didn't doubt Sirius would look after harry but she had to make sure,

"he is my family, he will always come first, I promise, if anything happens I will make sure he is looked after," Sirius again keeping eye contact James, he loved this man, he loved this mans wife and child and although he hated voldermort, his hate for him would double if he did anything to those he loved, "James you are my brother and I would never let you do, I promise I will always be there for harry,"

"I know, I love you Sirius," James said, maunders love for each other was always silent, they would never admit to loving each other, they were fun, cheeky boys but over the past year had grown up a lot, perhaps too much,

"I love you too, and lily and harry, hell I love you all and always will," Sirius said a smile slowly forming on his face as he truly spoke every word. The men stepped out the puddle, tears poured down Sirius cheeks, he hadn't just broken one promise , he had promised ten times to be there for harry, and he never was.

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"See I betrayed them, just like peter," Sirius sniffled after a long silence, pushing his head into the sack,

"No you didn't, you promised that harry would not get hurt after James and lily went, and he has never required any medical attention Dumbledore's assistant says, you promised you would make sure he was safe..." Remus said quickly,

"Exactly I don't know if he is safe, I don't know where he is," Sirius muttered, cursing him,

"no but before you went after peter you made sure he was in good hands, you didn't leave him in godric hollow or bring him on a dangerous mission, you left him knowing he was going to family, family that would look after him, so you didn't break any promises to James or lily, except you wasn't there for him but that you can still do in the future," Remus said, he was too wise for such a young man, the stress of betrayal and death had aged him rapidly, "and you still love him, I can tell just like you did all those years ago,"

"Yeah, and I still love... them," he muttered, unable to use James and lily's names,

"I am so stupid," Remus said the light bulb finally clicking in his head,

"Why?" Sirius asked though unsure why, he was preoccupied at the moment and to be truthful didn't care why Remus thought of himself as stupid.

"I thought that you was in self pity, just thinking I did this, I didn't do that," Remus explained, "but your not, its obvious,"

"I'm not?" Sirius said, he too had been thinking the same, he realised several days ago that he didn't know anything about Remus and his last five years,

"No you're grieving," Remus said simply, "you lost James, lily and even harry and have never grieved for them,"

"I have, I spent years thinking about them and there death," Sirius said, his voice was shaking,

"Yes you did but you didn't grieve, it would have been impossible to do so with the dementors," he looked over at Sirius, and knew he didn't believe them, "Sirius had you ever grieved for James?"

"Yes," Sirius replied,

"Say his name then," Remus asked

"J...I cant," tears began pouring again, "I miss him ok!! Just like I did five years ago, he was my brother!!!"

"I still miss him siri, come on lets get inside," Sirius said, pulling his friend inside, they was going to get through it, Remus didn't know how but they would


	8. And Some Stay the Same

And some Never Change

A month soon pasted since Sirius fitness fanatic, and he had improved greatly in the opinion of one Remus John Lupin. His appetite had defiantly picked up with him eating three meals a day which may sound a lot but Remus had known a Sirius who at Hogwarts eat up to five meals a day where his plate was piled high, though Remus was glad this wasn't the case as he would need to hire a house elf for all that cooking because he wasn't exactly the best cook. Sirius's hair was no longer greasy and dry but had started to get its silk back yet he still wore it at shoulder length. This wasn't the only thing that added to his healthier appearance, his skin looked less ghostly after spending hours outside in the sunshine or working out which he was still doing but less of an extreme and only short stints everyday, nether the less his muscles was working up to a respectable size and he could swear that two of his beloved abs had returned, even though Remus wasn't so sure. The lonely hours were no longer as long, Sirius regaining his love of talking though again it wasn't the same as he use to be, conversations of James and lily were short and Sirius would spend a long time "thinking" afterwards, but at last he began to grieve. Life was a hell lot better at krampton cottage.

"Rem, don't you have a job?" Sirius asked on a glorious Thursday morning, he was lying on the grass doing several sit up whilst Remus was hanging out some washing, the question was quite random though,

"well Sirius, you haven't seen me leave the house for more than a hour since you got here and I think my boss would be kind of annoyed if I only worked one hour for one day a week," Remus replied chuckling at his friends lack of noticing the most obvious of things,

"why though, I mean why aint you got a job?" asked Sirius, rolling onto his front after doing two hundred sit ups, and placing his head on his hands,

"My condition, puts most employers off, puts most people off actually," Remus sighed, "even educated people at the ministry see me as dangerous,"

"the ministry is full of prats," Sirius muttered, forgetting of his friends excellent hearing and was quite surprised when he chuckled, it didn't matter how much Sirius had improved in the last month his ability to make people laugh at will was still deeply hidden away, mainly because Sirius himself didn't feel like laughing, "who thought you was dangerous anyway?"

"A lot of people do Sirius, the wizagot court voted me unfit to take care of a child because they thought I was too dangerous," he said as he put a shirt on the line,

"What child?" Sirius asked, Remus chuckled again, how obvious was this question,

"Harry, I tried to get guardianship when you was in Azkaban but failed," Remus replied, anger bubbled inside of him, why was people so judgemental?

"Ow" Sirius said, several moments past and Sirius turned over and began looking at the clouds,

"Remus,"

"Hmm"

"I want to see harry," Sirius said, the statement came out of the blue, Remus knew Sirius would say this one day but he thought Sirius would at least build up to the question and not just add it randomly in a conversation, Remus thought for a moment,

"I don't think now is the right time," Remus said, he felt guilty as he saw his friends face drop but there meeting with harry would be an unpredictable one for sure, and harry didn't want them in his life, well he wasn't sure padfoot could deal with rejection, not know,

"I do, I think now is perfect," Sirius stated looking up at his friend,

"Sirius your not well enough, harry will need answers to some very difficult questions and he will be very demanding, I am not sure your up to it," Remus replied and began pegging out some of Sirius's robes,

"you said yourself that we had to get to know harry first so we wont be thrown in at the deep end with him, his aunt and uncle will have cleared up most questions and I think, I think he is just what I need," Sirius said quickly trying to remember what Remus had said previously and counter argue it all, Remus was very stubborn

"Your right," Remus smiled, "maybe getting to know harry would be good for you, but if we go you have to swear to take it one step at a time,"

"I swear Mooney, can we go and ask dumbydorey now, so we can get his address, please moooooney," Sirius pulled himself onto his knees and began pulling his friends robes, Remus chuckled again, if this is how Sirius was going to act at the mention of visiting harry then maybe it wasn't such a bad idea,

"We will go after lunch," Remus replied,

"I'm not hungry so can we go now," Sirius said with a cheeky grin his hands still containing a fist full of Remus's robes,

"no because I am hungry," Remus said pulling back his robes and knocking Sirius to the floor, Sirius lay on the floor as his friend walked up into the house,

"Well if your cooking, do me a couple of cheese and onion cobs, but without the onion and bring us some cake," Sirius shouted, his stomach grumbled, what was he on about, he was starving!!!

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Once lunch was over, the two men walked over to the fire, grabbing a hand full of floo powder, Sirius stepped into the fire,

"Sirius you sure about this?" Remus asked, knowing the answer but wanted to double check,

"Sure as hell," Sirius replied, "and away we go, HOGWARTS,"

Sirius felt a small swirling sensation before being spit out in the headmaster's office, he stood aside and watched his friend come tumbling down beside him,

"Okay rem," Sirius asked,

"yeah, well the full moon is a couple of days away, anything takes it out of me," he said while adjusting his robes, "professor, are you here?"

"ahh Mr. Lupin come through," a voice came from behind the entrance door, Sirius and Remus followed it to be confronted by there old headmaster, the room was full of silver instruments and passed headmasters, which Sirius had become accustom to hate because even though Dumbledore didn't shout when Sirius was sent here in his school years many of the other headmasters do,

"Mr. Black, may I ask how are you?" the headmaster asked as the two men walked me,

"I am fine, and please sir call me Sirius, Mr. Black was my father," said Sirius hating being called black as it linked to his feelings of Azkaban as well as his heritage.

"Yes, Sirius, you look much better," Dumbledore stated seeming to try a pass time,

"yes sir, much, this is why we are here," Sirius said trying to make this as short as possible, he did bear a grudge to his old headmaster and old boss for not helping him inside Azkaban, "I feel I am well enough to contact harry,"

"Ahhhh, now Sirius are you..."

"I am positive professor," Sirius said indefinite, he knew he wasn't exactly his old self but he also knew he would never become his old self without seeing harry,

"Then I shall admit to not being one hundred percent truthful on harry's upbringing," the headmaster said calmly,

"WHAT" Remus shouted beating Sirius to and taking himself by surprise, "I mean, what you mean professor,"

"I told you harry is a happy, content boy who is being looked after by his aunty and uncle, Mr Lupin," Dumbledore explained,

"And he is not?" Sirius asked not too sure what he exactly he was asking,

"Well harry is indeed in the care of his aunty and uncle, making sure of his well-being, I have been informed harry is a polite and courteous boy who.."

"But," Sirius said impatiently,

"I asked harry's aunt and uncle to look after as they have done so there own but this is not the case, there child is put mildly as a spoilt attention seeking bully mainly to the fault of his parents,"

"And harry isn't?" Remus asked, wouldn't that be a good thing,

"No but whilst harry's cousin is spoilt to the bone, harry receives less attention resulting in him being perhaps not as happy as he could be," Dumbledore explained, his voice soft,

"Are they mistreating him?" Sirius asked, voice full of concern and love, more concern and love than he had showed in years,

"I have no evidence suggesting this Sirius, I am simply telling you that saying harry is happy may be stretching it," Dumbledore clarified,

"Is he safe though, has he been looked after," Sirius questioned, his mind hurting at the thought of his godson being miserable,

"I have nothing to suggest otherwise," Dumbledore said putting down a metal instrument he had been holding, "but upon visiting if you feel harry's up bringing is inadequate you have the right to remove him from his relatives care,"

"You mean, bring him home with us," lupin asked, after years of fighting for harry could they get him this easily,

"only if you feel there is a problem," Dumbledore added, "and if this is the case then I have already set up a rather large cottage for you to have, with all necessary safety wards in place for such a, popular growing wizard,"

The room went silent, Sirius could feel a dreaded feeling in the bottom of his stomach, if Dumbledore had already set up home for them, then he must know something isn't quite right with harry's home life, after all you wouldn't just take the chance and set up a home if you didn't have anything to go on,

"perhaps, visiting on a weekend would be best, when all his relative are in," Dumbledore said after moments of awkward silence, Dumbledore grabbed a piece of parchment and began scribbling something down, "the address in number 4 privet drive, little whingeley, surrey,"

"Thanks" Remus said appreciably as Dumbledore handed him the parchment that held the address of Remus's best friends son,

"now gentlemen, you must excuse me I have work at the ministry," Dumbledore stood up and walked over to the fire, "alas enough floo for one, would you mind using another fire, perhaps the one in Minerva's office,"

"No problem," Sirius replied and he and Remus stood up and walked to the door as Dumbledore disappeared. They travelled down the entrance to Dumbledore's office but once at the bottom, Sirius felt he had to share his thoughts,

"I have a bad feeling about going to see harry," Sirius said finally,

"Me too," replied his werewolf friend, Sirius looked into his friends eye and saw his own worry reflecting back at him, BANG. Distracted by thought Sirius felt as he collided into someone as they turned a corner, knocking himself off his feet,

"Don't strut around here black, you don't own the place," snarled a harsh and slimy voice

"I wasn't strutting, and watch where your going but I bet that's hard with that slimy stuff hanging in your eyes," Sirius sneered back, he always had an answer for his arch enemy, for Severus "snivelleus" Snape, Remus held his hand out and pulled his friend up whilst giving him the "aren't you too old for this" look, but Sirius gave the "he's a git" look back

"Don't insult me black," leered snape,

"But it's so easy, you can insult you personality, looks, intelligent, hygiene..." Sirius said counting each one on his finger,

"Say one more word black and I will," snape threatened,

"What, blow me to kingdom kon or get your mates to do it for me, oops on second thought do it yourself you were always lacking friends," Sirius laughed, it was so easy,

"LANGLOCK" shouted snap, whipping out his wand, Sirius dived out of the way of the curse and was about to pull out his wand, which was returned to him several days ago by the ministry along with a apology for his injustice and a notice that a heap load of gold had been added to his gringrots vault. Sirius loved having his wand back and was quite shocked when he actually received it after thinking it had been snapped whilst he was in Azkaban, but Remus politely pointed out that the wand is snapped during the trial which Sirius never had until he was released.

"WHAT IS GOING ON," screeched the voice of Minerva McGonagall, Sirius whom lay sideways on the floor, Remus and snape all looked round to see McGonagall standing at the rear of the corridor, "professor snape, why is your wand out?"

"ahhh he needs it to attack me, a defenceless, weak, innocent man who has not duelled in half a decade yet he still manages to miss me," Sirius taunted as well as half stick up for himself, halway thorough his speech he realised he couldn't get in trouble or get detention as he was no longer a pupil there but saying nothing well where is the fun in that,

"Innocent, is a word that has never described you ," McGonagall smiled before quickly retracting it, "now why do I have a duel going on in a middle of a school, WELL?"

"You can't really call it a duel, Minnie when one of the people don't have there wand out, it was more of an attack," Sirius smiled, as McGonagall looked for his wand,

"Give me a rest black," snarled snape,

"Only If I can give you some shampoo, have you washed your hair since we last meet?" Sirius taunted,

"I see you haven't deflated your head," snape snapped

"I see you haven't had cosmetic surgery and boy do you need it," Sirius laughed,

"THAT'S ENOUGHT," barked McGonagall, "you both are not school children, and you are a professor and you well you are..."

"An ex-Azkaban prisoner," Sirius offered, seeing McGonagall's lips twitch slightly, "I almost saw you smile there Minnie,"

"I'm off," snape said skulking away, Sirius was about to make a cheery comment but was cut off before he started,

"Can we use you floo Minerva," Remus asked,

"Of course," McGonagall replied and the men silently walked into the nearby office and flooed back to krampton cottage, both smiling quietly, some things never changed.


	9. into the unknown

Into the unknown 

A period of two weeks had passed, since there visit to Hogwarts, and to the annoyance of Sirius, the two men had not yet visited his godson. Remus was after all due to be ill and perhaps not the best time to visit harry and since he was recovering but now a week after the full moon, Sirius was getting restless,

"Mooney," Sirius whined as they sat eating breakfast, it was quite early, perhaps half six in the morning. Since being in Azkaban Sirius had become accustomed to waking up the moment the sun rose and Remus who loved his lye in's could no longer sleep in because of the racket his friend made even when he was trying to be quiet,

"hmmmmm," the werewolf replied, he had a small scratch near his eye and only that and the deep shadow by his eye, was the only sign of his horrific ordeal which happen a week ago.

"How you feeling?" Sirius asked, tapping the side of his bowl with a spoon,

"Much better,"

"Can we visit harry then?" he asked impatiently, pouting impatiently at his werewolf friend,

"tomorrow, maybe," Remus replied, after all there was so much to do if they was going to visit harry, so much to think about,

"Today," Sirius replied stubbornly,

"But what if.."

"We are only visiting," Sirius whined, he really wanted to see his godson, "please,"

"But..."

"Dumbydorey said we got to visit at a weekend," Sirius argued, knowing he could crack his equally stubborn friend, "and if we don't go today we have got to wait a whoooooole another week, please,"

"But..."

"For me," Sirius said, rearranging his face to look as adorable as possible, which for a man with the ghosts of Azkaban was quite a challenge,

"Don't try to be cute Sirius, it is impossible for you to be" Remus laughed,

"What, cute is my middle name," Sirius argued, then realising they was off the subject, "is that a yes?"

"Fine," Remus sighed, knowing how much his friend wanted this.

"Love you mooney," Sirius smiled, filling his bowl back up with cereal, god did he hate this stuff but Remus refused to cook three hot meals a day,

"and before you start, we are not going to nine," Remus said deciding to put his foot down,"

"Eight"

"Nine,"

"Half past,"

"Nine"

"Quarter to,"

"Nine,"

"Ten to,"

"Nine,"

"Two minutes to sooooo by the time we get there it will be nine on the dot,"

"You aint going to give up am you," Remus joked,

"Persistent is my middle name," Sirius smirked,

"I thought cute was," Remus said sitting down,

"Yes, Sirius Cute Persistent Black, got a problem with that," Sirius said leaning back pleased with himself, Remus chuckled silently, all this talk of harry was defiantly bringing back the old annoying pre-Azkaban Sirius.

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"You sure you're up to this?" Remus asked, they stood at the end of the plot of krampton cottage, about to apparent to Harry's neighbourhood, Sirius was about to apparentate for the first time in years.

"Yes," Sirius snapped, Remus sometimes treated him like a baby and he hated it, "see you there,"

And we a small pop Sirius had disappeared, he found himself near a small Childs park, pop, Remus his old chum was now by the side of him,

"That wasn't fun," Remus glared at him, his was worried about his friend and then he would go and pull such a childish act like that,

"I am sorry and can we get a move on," Sirius spoke impatiently, he then began to walk down a small alley, he had been staring at a map of surrey for two hours, he know knew several way of getting to number 4 privet drive and had decided to lead the way. Walking through the estate, Sirius smiled gently, _the houses was nice, the neighbour hood seemed friendly, maybe this wasn't such a bad place to live,_ Sirius actually imagined these muggles to be living in a pile high tower flats, with young hooligans hanging around on the street corners that stole old ladies bags. They turned down another street, Remus lagged behind, the pace they was walking was quite unnecessary. _Nahhhha that street is a bit to tidy,_ Sirius thought as they walked towards a small street, _wait that should be privet drive, that's harry's street. _And sure enough when they got to the street sign, it read privet drive,

"Here we are," Remus stated, "you sure about this?"

Sirius nodded, he had to see harry, and per suited down the street, god he wished they lived at a bigger number, like thirty or forty because with in seconds of standing at the street sign, the two men was standing outside number four, home of the Dursleys. Sirius nodded at Remus again, gesturing for them to enter the unknown, after all, would harry like them? Resent them? Love them? Remember them?

Remus who was nearest the door, pressed his finger of the door bell. Ding dong. _Typical muggles, _Sirius thought, he heard voices come from behind the door, several doors slam and then it happened, the front door swung open, half of Sirius thought he was about to see harry but the man behind the door was defiantly not harry. He was a small stocky man, his head resembled a tomato with sweat dripping down the side, _Vernon Dursleys, _Sirius thought. Sirius had never actually seen Vernon before but the way his best friend and his wife had described him seem to suit Sirius's first opinion, _pompous. _Mr. Dursleys looked straight at Sirius and Remus in disgust, who was these people and what were they doing on his property. The one man wore a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt, _dressing like a teenager, he should act his age, _Mr. Dursleys thought, and this mans hair, it was long. Long hair on a man is something Mr. Dursleys never thought was right. He then looked at the other man, his hair may have been shorter but he was no better, he wore a shirt and trousers but his shirt was untucked adding to his already scruffy image.

"What do you want?" Mr. Dursleys snapped, thinking they was trying to sell something, or charity, yes they was probably here after, Mr. Dursleys money. Mr. Dursleys greeting had took the two maunders by surprise and took them a moment to refocus themselves, "WELL,"

"Well sir, we was just wandering if we could see harry potter," Remus asked, even though it was not meant to be a request and the two men was going to see harry if Mr. Dursleys liked it or not, Remus felt it was best to be polite,

"Nobody called harry potter lives here, think, think you got the wrong house," Mr. Dursleys stutter, rather fast, if they wanted to see the boy, they must be one of them. Remus and Sirius both froze, nobody called harry potter lived there, was this the wrong house or was the man just lying? Sirius glanced over to the house number, four, Dumbledore had defiantly said number four privet drive,

"Vernon, who is it?" called a ladies voice, disturbing Sirius from his track of thought, the man was lying. What were the odds that Harry's uncle was called Vernon but Sirius and Remus got the wrong house and there was a man there called Vernon? Mr. Dursleys soon realised Sirius's had cotton on,

"Nope wrong house, nobody named harry lives here, goodbye then," he spoke rapidly and went to firmly shut the door, Sirius though knew something wasn't right, why didn't this man want Sirius to see harry, was harry that bad? That mistreated? No don't be stupid, Sirius told himself, he was just over reacting but he knew this was Harry's house, just like he knew harry was living here and Sirius was going to see him,

"hey Dursleys, I have come here to see harry potter," Sirius whispered, sticking his foot in front of the closing door before pushing it fully open, "now you show me where he is before I,"

"Sirius," Remus said sternly, act first think later had always been Sirius's motto and Remus didn't like where Sirius's actions was going currently,

"Before I hex you into next week," Sirius finished, Mr. Dursleys backed away from the door, and his wife appeared behind him,

"You're..your one of them," he stuttered, looking at Sirius up and down, Mrs. Dursleys gasped obviously realising what was going on Sirius and Remus walked into the house and shut the door, they didn't want to cause any unnecessary attention, "get...get out of my house,"

"Make me," Sirius said threateningly, people like Vernon Dursleys and snape, Sirius could argue, taunt and fight all day, he had soon realised that.

"Dursleys, we are only here to see harry, we do not want to cause any trouble," Remus reassured trying to calm the situation down,

"MOM, WHOS THERE?" shouted a young boy's voice from upstairs,

"Nobody dudders, " Mrs. Dursleys shouted up to the child, what if these men hurt her duddykins.

"Where is harry, Dursleys," Remus asked trying not to sound intimidating,

"Here is... not here, no... We sent him to a...an orphanage," Mr. Dursley said partially squeaking,

"We know harry lives we you," Remus said calmly, how thick did these people think they were?

"Check the house, he...he isn't here," Dursleys stuttered hoping that the men would believe him, "sent him packing, we did,"

"We know harry is here Dursleys and if he isn't, if you did send him away you will have me to deal with," Sirius snarled walking towards Dursleys, how could he talk like that about his godson, about James son.

"Gulp.....he isn't here and I hope your not threatening me," Dursleys said trying to make his voice sound intimidating but failing miserably,

"I would never dream of threatening you Dursleys," Sirius mocked, he moved his arm, about to curse this man into an oblivion but restrained himself. This was going to be a long day.


	10. Two Choices

Two choices, two disasters

Vernon Dursley gritted his teeth, menacingly. Sirius held his famous taunting smirk at the man. It was pathetic really, like children on a playground. Dursleys could never intimidate Sirius; it was like when a small skinny child raises his fists to a bully, though you could never say that Vernon Dursleys was a small skinny child, though the theory was still there.

"Leave...leave my house," Vernon's voice trembled. In reality he was being quite brave, taking on a full grown wizard but at the same time he was being so stupid and giving Sirius reason to be concerned,

"I am not leaving without seeing harry," said Sirius calmly. Ever since coming out of Azkaban, he couldn't deal with his emotions. And the attitudes of the Dursleys made Sirius concerned, sending his emotions into overdrive. The Dursleys repeatedly lied about harry not being here, why? Sirius knew harry was in the house. Sirius had always lived in the magical world, his house had always been filled with magic, and therefore Sirius was aware when magic was not present. And in number four privet drive Sirius could sense magic, it was weak but it was there, resulting the fact that harry potter had to be there too.

"He is in here somewhere," Remus muttered, he too sensed the magical atmosphere

"Really, you should change your name to Albus Dumbledore for a discovery like that," Sirius muttered sarcastically though he then gave an apologetic look after seeing his friends hurt face. Remus had done so much for Sirius in the past couple of months, resulting in Sirius being grateful to his friend and trying to help his as much as possible. And even though Remus had not taken the criticism to heart after all he could see Sirius's distress, Remus gave a small smile to his friend, accepting his apology. The two friends then turned there attention back to the Dursleys,

"We are only here to see harry," Remus explained

"Well you cant he is not here," Vernon replied viciously, "and I suggest you two leave,"

"I am Harry's godfather, I have a right to see him," Sirius said calmly after deciding to control his emotions and himself,

"Godfather, humph, your sort have godparent," Vernon Dursleys laughed, imagining these freaks being sensible enough to name a guardian for there child,

"Yes and I am Harry's godfather therefore his guardian," Sirius replied trying to ignore Vernon Dursleys reply,

"NO, no you're not matey, that boy is ours," Vernon chuckled again, "who would put you in charge of a child anyway,"

"Your sister," Sirius replied looking a petunia in the eye,

"My freak of a sister didn't know anything, the stupid girl got her self BLOWN UP after all," petunia spat, taking her eyes of Sirius. The words hit Sirius heart like a knife. He felt his glide towards petunia unable to control him. Petunia stumbled into the wall behind her as Sirius leant over her shoulder,

"NEVER SPEAK OF LILY LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN," he yelled, he felt a hand on his shoulder pulling him back. He looked over and saw Remus wearing one of his "you should know better," faces.

"If you ever lay a...." Vernon Dursleys began before Sirius rudely told him to shut up.

"Now where is harry and don't give me no bull that he isn't here, I can feel him," Sirius said getting quite fed up of all the games,

"You can... feel him," Vernon Dursleys stuttered absolutely confused.

"We can feel his magic," Remus explained whilst noting there scared and shocked faces. It was quite hilarious really.

"Where is he?" Sirius asked bluntly,

"I told you he is not here, we sen...."

"Fine we will look ourselves," Sirius said and turned away from the Dursleys, facing Remus. After being friends for so many years Remus and Sirius did not necessarily need to communicate physically, they both knew harry was here, they both knew the Dursleys wouldn't tell them where he was, they both knew that Sirius was right and they would have to look themselves. Sirius calmly proceeded up the stairs whilst Remus turned and entered what seemed the living room, both ignoring the cries of the dismayed Dursleys.

Once upon the landing, Sirius stood dumbfounded. What if the Dursleys telling the truth and harry wasn't here? Or what If they was lying and harry was here, what reasons they had for not letting Sirius and Remus see there godson. He walked into the one room, his heart lifted slightly. The room was small but it was packed of toys and books, a small bed lay in the corner. Was this his godson's room? Looking around he saw most the books still had the wrappers left on and the toys was battered or broke, but still Dumbledore had said harry hadn't had the best childhood, what if this is what he meant, he didn't have all the best toys that's all. though finding his godson couldn't be that easy Sirius told himself as he firstly noticed this room had looked like it hadn't been touched in months and secondly his godson was no where in sight.

"What you doing in MY ROOM?" a voice asked, Sirius turned round, the small boy from the photos stood in the door frame, wearing stripy pyjamas that could only just about fasten.

"Harry?" Sirius asked, could it be? His godson, if so he had change sooo much, too much.

"I am not harry, I am Dudley," said the child confidently,

"ow," was all Sirius could say, half scolding himself for getting his hopes up and half for being stupid and thinking such a fat, ignorant brat could be his perfect godson, "sorry,"

He pushed gently passed the child, realising this wasn't harry's room he decided he had to continue with the hunt? After all if he found a bedroom that belonged to harry even if harry wasn't in it, it would mean that harry lived here. He walked into the nearest room. As the door opened, Sirius's eyes was immediately distracted by all the toys, some brand new, some battered, some broken but the amount was amazing,

"That's my room too," the boy said, wobbling in front of Sirius, he stuck out his hand, "you can't come in,"

"You have two rooms?" Sirius asked lifting up an eyebrow suspiciously,

"Yes, I need them for all MY stuff," the boy said, a fat smile spread across his face,

"If harry in there?" Sirius asked, getting slightly annoyed with the boy, Dumbledore was right, this kid was spoilt,

"No, he isn't allowed in any of MY rooms, he can only come upstairs for the bathroom," the boy said beaming at Sirius, Sirius blood boiled, why wasn't harry allowed upstairs? Stupid Dursleys, he knew the boy wasn't lying, why would he? An idea then came to Sirius,

"Does harry live here?" he asked looking down at the boy deciding that this simple question could give him the boys trust,

"Yes," the boy, Dudley said pompously, "his parents are dead,"

"Where is he?" Sirius asked trying to control his anger, how could he say that so carelessly, his parents are dead, without feeling. Sirius began deeply breathing trying not to shout, cry nor scream at the child. As you can see he had started dealing with the death of his friend but the process had not yet been completed.

"How am I meant to know," the boy snarled, "why do you care anyway?"

Sirius turned and went to walk away, the child was a brat, clear and simple to Sirius and he was glad he wasn't his godfather, but what if harry was the same, would Sirius love him? _He is James's child of course I would_ Sirius told himself.

"HEY, I am talking to you," said the child arrogantly,

"Well I am not talking to you," Sirius said, his mind racing, if harry wasn't allowed upstairs apart from the bathroom then he had to be downstairs, but Remus would have found he by now, wouldn't he?

"Talk to me," the boy demanded, Sirius stood at the top of the stairs, and he turned to face the boy,

"Grow up you selfish arrogant brat," Sirius snarled, he would never he mean to a child but this boy was just so, so selfish,

"MOM" the boy shouted, turning a slight purple,

"DUDDERS," Mrs. Dursley cried appearing out of the living room with her husband and Remus,

"WHAT YOU DONE TO MY SON," Mr. Dursley bellowed,

"Nothing," Sirius barked, god James was right about lily's family,

"Any luck?" Sirius heard Remus say, he shook his head and looked at his friend, he blocked out Dudley's cries and Dursleys threats,

"You," he knew the answer but as Remus shook his head, Sirius heard his heart drop, was the Dursleys telling the truth, and was there godson not here. But Dumbledore's informant had told Dumbledore harry was here and if he was why was the Dursleys trying to hide him so much.

"told you, didn't I, said he wasn't here, well you can go now," Vernon Dursley said with a large smirk covering his face, Remus stood nearest to the door his head hung down in shame, the Dursleys stood behind Remus blocking off the rest of the hall and Sirius, he stood frozen half way up the stairs, his mind lost, "go on then go, and don't come back,"

"Harry," Sirius said his voice was bland as he tried to hide all his emotions, he had to try one more time to find him before excepting defeat, "harry are you there,"

Nothing, no noise could be heard by the normal human ear. But to the ear with hearing as good as a dog or lets say wolf a small squeak could be heard, Remus and Sirius looked at each other,

"Did you..." Remus began and Sirius nodded quickly, the Dursleys stood dumbfound, did they what?

"Harry, where are you, you aint in trouble just say where you are, please harry," Sirius said as he strained his ears, moments passed, nothing had they just imagined it,

"Have you finished?" Vernon Dursley asked at last breaking the silence, he pushed out his arms, sealing off the hall trying to make Sirius and Remus leave and to show he had authority, though this was not working,

"The cupboard," a small voice said, Mrs. Dursley took in a quick sharp breath, hearing the voice too. _The cupboard, which cupboard, I have checked them all, where is he?_ Remus thought cursing himself for missing a cupboard though he couldn't tell where the voice had come from, unlike Sirius. Sirius heard clearly the voice, it was coming from below him, _how is that possible_ Sirius thought, underneath me is the stairs, it then hit Sirius like a ton of bricks, Vernon Dursley saw as Sirius worked it out, Sirius face said it all, Vernon pushed passed his wife and went to grab Sirius, though this old dog was still to quick for him. Sirius placed his hand on the banister and jumped off the stairs and onto the hallway below, landing with a thump on all fours. His heart skipped a beat. Locks. Locks covered the small cupboard under the stairs, Sirius whipped out his wand, too impatient to undo the locks by hand or even ask the Dursleys for the keys. Remus stood by the door confused, where was harry, Mrs. Dursley stood the other side of the door, frozen with fear. Mr. Dursley though had quickly retracted his step and grabbed Sirius from behind just as Sirius pulled out his wand; he struggled from the Dursleys grip, which was surprisingly hard though the man was double the size of Sirius.

"GET OFF ME DURSLEY OR I SWEAR I WILL BLAST YOU INTO A THOUSAND PIECES," Sirius yelled, Vernon immediately dropped Sirius and backed away, Sirius had his wand pointed at Dursleys chest,

"You...you can't," dursley uttered, fumbling backwards,

"Try me," Sirius said threateningly, at this Vernon stumbled into his wife and fell fearfully onto the floor, Sirius turned and faced the cupboard, and it was now or never. He lifted up his wand,

"Aloamorah," he whispered, the locks all clicked and the cupboard door swung open.

The cupboard door swung open Sirius peered inside, at first look it looked empty, a threadbare mattress lay on the floor, it was only a couple of inches thick, and on top lay what looked like an old rag.

"I am sorry sir, I forgot, please sir," a small voice pleaded, from the bottom of the cupboard, at first Sirius couldn't see anything but then he saw a flash of whites from a persons eyes,

"Lumos," Sirius muttered and lighting up the whole cupboard, he looked at where the voice came from, a small child sat there scrunched up tightly in a ball. Sirius stared down at the child, his raven black hair identical to James, he couldn't believe it. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms round the child, hug him until he popped,

"please sir, I am sorry, I didn't mean to sir, please sir, please," the boy cried, he lifted his head up and looked at Sirius, Sirius saw as tears poured from his emerald green eyes, eyes as perfect as lily's, Sirius quickly studied the boys face, he had James's shape, nose, mouth, cheek bones, hair, ears and eye brows, and his eyes was exactly lily's. He was beautiful, Sirius leaned over, unable to contain himself, he had to hug him, he had to express his feelings, and the boy though winced.

"_Why did I say something, I knew try would come, I am so stupid, who is this man? Maybe they have sent him, maybe he hurts more," _harry thought silently, his heart stopped as the man moved, here comes the pain. But to Harry's amazement the man stopped moving.

"Shhhh, I am not going to hurt you harry," Sirius soothed seeing the fear in Harry's eyes, _what is he scared of?_ Sirius thought as we watched the young boy, his muscles tense, "listen I am Sirius, I am here to see you,"

"me?" harry asked, he tensed more, knowing he shouldn't ask question, first disobeying them and now asking questions boy was he in for it, "I am sorry sir, I forgot sir, please sir,"

"Hey, shhhhhhhh," Sirius ushered, trying to calm down his godson, he reached out to stroke harry but the boy quickly turned away, hitting his head violently against the wall. Harry let out a cry of pain, hating showing weakness; he felt a tear run down his cheek. Instantly to his godson's pain, Sirius reached his arms out and wrapped them round the child, and for a moment, they sat there, everything flawless. _What am I doing, it's a trick, and he will hurt me, _harry thought and pushed his way out of unknown to him, godfathers arms.

"Sirius," Remus said, his voice full of questions and Sirius heard all of them, though at the sound of another unknown voice, harry flinched away further, contracting all his muscles,

"One minute, rem," Sirius spoke, his voice gentle and reassuring, though he was unsure of whom he was reassuring; Remus, harry or himself, "listen harry, we need to talk, can you come out the cupboard,"

"Yes sir," the boy replied though not moving a muscle, paralysed with fear.

"Please harry, we just need to talk," Sirius said softly trying to stay calm and in control, even though inside he was screaming out to see his godson so afraid of him, rejecting him.

"Yes sir," harry said quietly and slowly edged towards the cupboard door in which Sirius blocking. _ He is telling me to come out but he is stopping me, it is a trap;_ harry thought as he inched closer and closer to the blocked door. Sirius stood up graciously; he turned to see the three Dursleys huddled together in the living room doorway, all looking as they had seen the grim. Whilst Remus stood in between the Dursleys and Sirius, unsure of what to do. Remus watched his friend stand up and move free of the passage under the stairs, he then watched as a messy raven hair child sheepishly emerged. Unlike Sirius, Remus didn't immediately see James's nose or mouth nor did lily's eyes, no he see deep cuts, blistering burns, raw rashes and bulging bruises that covered all visible skin. The health of harry shocked Remus and Sirius too because in the dark cupboard none of these symptoms could be seen but once in the light, well Sirius became speechless. How could anyone do that to James's Son? To the Boy that lived?

"Hello harry, I am Remus Lupin," Remus said breaking the silence, he crouched down therefore at Harry's level,

"Hello Mr. Lupin, sir," harry said innocently, _he doesn't seem that bad, _harry thought at first but then again harry knew that people could change, act differently especially to ungrateful freaks like him, _he probably doesn't know what I am. _ Remus stood up fully and harry turned his attention to the other man in the hall, his uncle.

"so you have found him, I still want you out of my house, we swore when we took him in that we would stamp this nonsense out of him," Vernon Dursley said bravely though not daring to meet either of the men's eyes,

"You can't stamp it out of him," Remus stated looking at the blubbering oaf before them in disgust,

"but by the look of it you have had a good try," Sirius snarled stepping forward toward the Dursleys, Remus put his hand up to refrain his friend though he didn't understand why, "think your good beating up a five year old, well DO YOU,"

"I was being punished, sir," harry said quietly let everyone in the room heard each and every word. Harry winced; he had spoken out of term, spoken when not spoken to. Though nobody noticed this though, they were all struck dumfound on what harry had just said.

"Exactly," Vernon said a smile filling his obese face,

"What had he done wrong? Done magic," Sirius barked, his heart bled not just at the thought of harry being hurt but at thought of harry thinking he deserved to be hurt.

"Magic, harry cant do magic, it's not real," said the youngest Dursley, his blonde hair dropping over his eyes,

"Magic, it's not real," Sirius repeated, hadn't they told him? Not said who he was, who his parents were, his voice shook with anger "do you think magic is real harry?"

"No sir," harry replied, hoping the answer was right,

"YOU HAVENT TOLD HIM," Sirius shouted unable to refrain himself, stepping towards the Dursleys,

"SIRIUS, Sirius your scaring harry," Remus said whilst pushing Sirius back, Sirius looked over at his godson and saw fear filling his mother's perfect eyes. Taking a rather large gulp, Sirius immediately calmed down, on the outside that is, inside he was fuming.

"harry magic's real, your a wizard," Sirius said looking his best friends son in the eye, he felt a single tear run down his cheek, how could life be this bad for a child.

"HOW DARE YOU," Vernon roared over at Sirius, "WE ARE NOT HAVING ONE OF THOSE IN OUR HOUSE,"

"good because I wouldn't let harry live here a moment longer," Remus snapped, enraged with the lack of love, care that the Dursleys gave harry, he turned to harry and knelt down, "listen harry, only if you want, you can come and live with me and Sirius, come and live with me and Sirius right now,"

"And leave my aunt and uncle, sir," harry said arranging the words so it wasn't exactly a question, knowing that asking questions annoyed his relatives,

"Yes harry, only if you want," Remus said softly, he watched as harry's eyes flickered from his uncles to Sirius's. _This man, Mr. Lupin he seems really nice not like uncle Vernon but the other man, he is angry, scary would he be worse than uncle Vernon, would he hurt me, _the thoughts whizzed through harry's head, everything from it being a trick, to have a happy life, to the two men hurting him more than his uncle Vernon. Harry came to his decision.

"So harry do you want to come with me and Remus?" Sirius asked making his voice carefree and fun, the total opposite to what he was feeling. Harry looked over at his aunt and uncle, taking a deep breath he replied.

"No"

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I wrote the last four chapter's ages ago but got too busy to add them to the site but now I will be adding more frequently hopefully. Took me ages to think of this chapter. I write it twice and scraped it cus I wanted to show that a) Sirius was still vulnerable and was not totally in control b) how much harry was ignored as a child and that he thought he should be c) that yes harry was abused but like any child they always want there parents, there relatives in this case, the ones that brought them up. Also could someone tell me how to get someone to be my beta because if you haven't guessed my grammar isn't brilliant and I don't know how to work the beta thing works thanks.....merry xmas but probably update before xmas


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